A Bittersweet Goodbye

I don't care who you are, Goodbyes are never easy.

It's taken me a while to pull my thoughts and emotions together to write this down. 

Yesterday, my family received some heartbreaking news that my sister and her husband's foster girls, who have been with us since this summer, were going back to their grandma in just over a week. Wow, even typing it still makes me tear up. 

When I first heard the news yesterday, my immediate reaction was to go on defense. How in the world is the grandma getting the girls back? She had them taken away for a reason! She works two jobs and the youngest baby girl can't be in day care! How is she gonna handle that?!? They would have much better lives with our family! Then, I got sad. It's so soon. Only a week left with my baby girls?!? We won't get to celebrate their birthdays like we planned! Why would they do this with such little notice? We're losing two family members. But most of all, my heart ached for my sister and brother in law. 

Christina and Dan loved those girls so much and have changed their daily lives for them. They knew this day was coming, but not so soon. They have done so much for these girls and have truly affected their lives for the better. This coming up week will be hard. Full of preparations for the move and long, tearful goodbyes. I ask that throughout the week if you would just pray for all those involved to be at peace with this change and for Christina and Dan would have strength through this process. 

Even though I still have a week with them, I want to give the girls a proper goodbye. For the sake of their family's privacy, I'm gonna call them A and N.

Dear A,
You came into our lives and our hearts first. Hearing the news of your soon arrival was so exciting for the family. We were so ready to shower you with love and gifts. We were so excited to meet you. 
You were so tiny, coming home from the hospital at only four pounds, WAY smaller than this family is used to. We used to say you were so small you looked like a porcelain doll. But man how you have grown. 
You are SO beautiful. Those big brown eyes could make anyone melt! And what a great baby you are! You hardly cry and are so easy to manage. 
Probably my favorite time with you is after all the other kids go to bed, you know our attention is all towards you and man do you love it. Giggles and squeals of joy fill up the house and make everyone fall deeper in love with you. 
I am going to miss you so much A. I pray that you grow up knowing how much you were loved while you were with us, even though you will have no memory of it. But more importantly, I pray you grow up knowing how much you are loved by God. You are His sweet baby girl and he has a plan for you. I pray you grow up to be as beautiful on the inside as you are on the outside. And I pray that I will see you again, whether or not it's on this earth. 
Love,
ALWAYS your aunt,
Aunt Mer Mer

Dear N,
Never did I think I could love a little girl so much after only knowing her for a few short months. You captured my heart the moment I met you and never let it go. 
It's taking me a while to write your letter, simply because I have so much I want to say.
You are absolutely gorgeous. Your eyes are the biggest I've ever seen and they are oh so sweet. That smile of yours with your cute little gap between your front two teeth are simply adorable. Your silly giggle whenever we tickle you or chase you around the house could make anyone smile. 
It's been such a joy watching you grow and change so much even with your short time here. Being able to watch you learn to walk, and run for that matter, and learn new words almost every day are memories I wouldn't trade for the world! 
I'm going to miss everything about you pretty girl. I'm even going to miss those early morning I wake up with you and we just cuddle. I'm going to miss you waddling up to the door whenever I walk into the house, immediately lifting up your arms asking to be picked up. I'm going to miss those silly dance moves of yours. I'm going to miss watching you grow.
I will always cherish the time I got to spend with you and your sister. I know everything is in God's hands now, but I will always continue to pray for your heart. I pray you will grow up knowing the Lord and how much He loves you. I pray God will use you and your life in a wonderful way. I pray you will shout His good name at the top of your lungs. And I pray you will always know how much you mean to us. 
Love,
ALWAYS your aunt,
Aunt Mer Mer

God has a great plan. Even though it might not of been our plan, God works in amazing ways. This week is going to be very hard, but our lives will move on. It may not ever be the same again without the girls, but life moves on. 

Thank you so much to all who have prayed for and supported Christina, Dan and their family. I know it is very much appreciated. Please keep them in your prayers this week and for weeks to come. 

Communication is key....

What I don't understand is why us girls think that everyone knows what we are thinking all the time?!? Guys, y'all are not getting off the hook, but as a girl, I just can talk from experience. For some reason, girls think that guys know what they are thinking and know what we want all the time without telling them. Well NEWSFLASH: THEY DON'T!

Trust me, I am way guilty of this as well, just ask my boyfriend. But we fester up this idea in our head and we know exactly what we want and we somehow think that since we know, and maybe we even drop a few hints, that the guys in our lives should know as well. They don't! We have to flat out tell them! I mean, some guys are pretty good at decoding our hints, maybe if they grew up with a ton of sisters or something, but the majority of the male population needs to be spoon fed when it comes to this.

My sister and I were talking earlier this week about one of her friends who was mad at her boyfriend for going out when she told him that it was alright.... WHAT? She was upset because her boyfriend couldn't read her mind and see that she wanted a night out with her girls. "Well why didn't you just say that?" "I'm sure he would have gladly given you a night out, if you would have just told him?"It seems like this situation would be so easy to fix, but yet we continue to do it. Over. And over. And over again! It has got to stop!

Confession time. Last night, My boyfriend and I were talking on the phone on my way home and I was complaining about how much driving I've had to do over the last month and about how I feel like I just live in my car now. Now I know you're thinking; "Meredith? Complaining? No way!" But yes I was complaining. And my boyfriend led with his usual answers of "Suck it up" or "You're getting paid, you're not allowed to complain." Well this just pissed me off. I went silent and starting only giving him one worded answers. Obviously, he noticed and asked why I was in just a bad mood all of the sudden. I, OF COURSE, didn't give him a straight answer and said I was fine, even when he said he didn't believe. I expected him to know what was wrong with me and how he should fix it. So finally, I snapped and yelled something along the lines of, "It wouldn't kill you to be sweet every now and then!" Well this was alarming to him and he finally drew it out of me. I explained that when I was complaining about things such as driving, I was really fishing for encouragement. I needed him to feel sympathy for me and tell me that he was sorry I had to do that and that it would be alright. He, of course, explained that all I had to do was tell him this and he would have changed. He's an only child and went to an all boys high school. Why in the world did I expect him to be able to read my (a girl's!) mind and know exactly what I needed. My poor boyfriend WAS trying to help! He was doing what he would have told himself to make him feel better about the situation, he figured it would work with me as well. Man oh man was I guilty of doing exactly what every other girl in this world has at least done once!

Girls, it's okay to be needy with your man. Truth is, even though lots of them won't admit it, a lot of guys love being needed by their girls. What is not okay is being needy and silent. You have to tell your man what you want or he will never know. Over time, he will start to learn your patterns and might surprise you on how much he knows about you, but always be willing to talk to him.

Guys, please be more observant. Even though it may not be in your nature, try to pick up on these little hints that your girl is dropping you. I promise you, it would mean the world to your girl if you surprised her like that. And be willing to learn. Learn how your lady like to be treated and treat her that way. You have to remember that even though your girl may like to hang out with your friends, she is not "one of the guys."

So Matthew, if you're reading this. I'm sorry for not communicating. I am as guilty as ever of this and I promise to work harder on it. Just as long as you promise not to tell me to "Suck it up" anymore. ;) I love you!