I'm sure this doesn't surprise many people. Everyone is ready to go home after a long day at school or work. After all, I'm such a home-body. Sure I like to be social, (like once a week haha) but my happy place is curled up on the couch, watching Netflix. But the past couple of years, I haven't felt at home.
Before moving to Clemson, my biggest move was across the house. I had lived in the same house for 18 years and now I was about to pack it all up and move into a tiny room with a girl I barely knew. My dorm never really felt like home, I always felt as if it were just temporary housing because I knew I was moving out at the end of the year. Then I spent the summer back at my parent's house where I had spent my whole life and I was now living out of boxes. After that, I moved into my apartment with my best friend and I was sure that was going to be my home, at least for a while. But by end of September, we knew we would be leaving in December. I spent a month back my parents and then moved up to Charlotte. Now, after not even two months, I'm moving AGAIN. It's only across town to my sister's house, but still. Even though all of these places I've called "home" for an amount of time, they haven't been mine. It was my parent's house, Clemson's dorm, my sister's house, etc. I am so ready for a place that I can call mine.
I know that this is just the stage of life that I'm in and that home is not a place but a feeling, but I can't help but feel that everything is temporary. I'm ready for the next stage. I'm ready to have my own home. I'm ready to decorate it how I want and do what I want in it. I'm ready to have the comfort that I am going to be there for a while. It's hard when most of my siblings are already at this stage and I know that it's going to be at least a couple more years till I get there, but I'm ready.
Some people would be so excited to not be tied down and to be able to, really, up and move or make a dramatic change whenever you want, but I've never been that way. I've been the type of person who isn't huge on change. I can handle it, but I would prefer things to stay the same. I have always loved commitment and having a routine. The adventure of college and my internship is all still so new to me, and while I'm enjoying the ride, I'm ready to have a permanent.
One thing that I find comfortable in is that I can always have a home in the Word. No matter where my physical body is living, my spiritual one is in the same place. God doesn't make me move anywhere, He wants me right there beside Him. He's my norm, my happy place, my routine in the midst of life's chaotic events.
While I am still determining my earthly home, I am so thankful for the certainty of my eternal home. I am a planner and I hate surprises. I like to know things, every thing if I could! I like to mentally, and sometimes physically, prepare myself for what's ahead. Not knowing what a new school, a new job, a new roommate, or a new situation is going to be like gives me anxiety just thinking about it. So, the fact that people can go through life without knowing where they are going to spend eternity just baffles me!
Not only do I know where I will be, I know how AMAZING it will be. It's not some tiny little dorm room or a crappy little apartment where the drain never works, it is magnificent and beautiful. But most of all, it is with the most loving and gracious God.
Don't be discouraged if you don't know where you belong here on earth, cause the truth of the matter is, you don't! You belong in heaven with the Almighty One!
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