I Choose Joy

Lately I've been in a pretty dark place. I've been upset and mad at almost everyone I came in contact with. I've felt alone and betrayed. I'm away from school, away from my boyfriend. My best friend moved to London and it's more than likely a permanent move. I feel like I've lost almost all my friends, or at least found out which ones are true. My family is being tossed around like a roller coaster and I just don't know how much more I can take of it. 

I'm ready for normal again (whatever the hell that is). I so badly want these things to be like how they were a year ago. I long for the "good times" back to when my biggest concern of the week was what I was going to wear Friday night. I'm tired of feeling alone and heartbroken. 

BUT, it was okay that I needed time to be sad, I needed time to feel bad for myself, I needed time to cry. It was part of being true to myself, part of letting my real emotions show, and part of my coping process.

BUT, I'm done. I'm done feeling all alone in this big world, because the honest truth is, I'm not. I never was and I never will be. No matter how abandoned I feel at the moment, there is always the One who never leaves me. Man oh man am I thankful for that. 

He has a plan for everything. He has a plan for my friendships. He has a plan for my relationships. He has a plan for my family. And alas, He has a plan for me. 

So no more sulking about the bad in my life, it's just means I need to fill it with good. No more crying over things I can control, it just means I need to give it up to God. 

I choose joy.

I choose to be happy with what He has provided me and excited for what He has planned.

I choose to find the best in all situations.

I choose to give thanks for all that I have.

I choose to stay positive, even when it seems impossible.

I CHOOSE JOY

P.S. Sorry for those who I've been "bleh" to, especially Matthew, he always seems to get the worst of it. But thank you for being patient with me.