A Bittersweet Goodbye

I don't care who you are, Goodbyes are never easy.

It's taken me a while to pull my thoughts and emotions together to write this down. 

Yesterday, my family received some heartbreaking news that my sister and her husband's foster girls, who have been with us since this summer, were going back to their grandma in just over a week. Wow, even typing it still makes me tear up. 

When I first heard the news yesterday, my immediate reaction was to go on defense. How in the world is the grandma getting the girls back? She had them taken away for a reason! She works two jobs and the youngest baby girl can't be in day care! How is she gonna handle that?!? They would have much better lives with our family! Then, I got sad. It's so soon. Only a week left with my baby girls?!? We won't get to celebrate their birthdays like we planned! Why would they do this with such little notice? We're losing two family members. But most of all, my heart ached for my sister and brother in law. 

Christina and Dan loved those girls so much and have changed their daily lives for them. They knew this day was coming, but not so soon. They have done so much for these girls and have truly affected their lives for the better. This coming up week will be hard. Full of preparations for the move and long, tearful goodbyes. I ask that throughout the week if you would just pray for all those involved to be at peace with this change and for Christina and Dan would have strength through this process. 

Even though I still have a week with them, I want to give the girls a proper goodbye. For the sake of their family's privacy, I'm gonna call them A and N.

Dear A,
You came into our lives and our hearts first. Hearing the news of your soon arrival was so exciting for the family. We were so ready to shower you with love and gifts. We were so excited to meet you. 
You were so tiny, coming home from the hospital at only four pounds, WAY smaller than this family is used to. We used to say you were so small you looked like a porcelain doll. But man how you have grown. 
You are SO beautiful. Those big brown eyes could make anyone melt! And what a great baby you are! You hardly cry and are so easy to manage. 
Probably my favorite time with you is after all the other kids go to bed, you know our attention is all towards you and man do you love it. Giggles and squeals of joy fill up the house and make everyone fall deeper in love with you. 
I am going to miss you so much A. I pray that you grow up knowing how much you were loved while you were with us, even though you will have no memory of it. But more importantly, I pray you grow up knowing how much you are loved by God. You are His sweet baby girl and he has a plan for you. I pray you grow up to be as beautiful on the inside as you are on the outside. And I pray that I will see you again, whether or not it's on this earth. 
Love,
ALWAYS your aunt,
Aunt Mer Mer

Dear N,
Never did I think I could love a little girl so much after only knowing her for a few short months. You captured my heart the moment I met you and never let it go. 
It's taking me a while to write your letter, simply because I have so much I want to say.
You are absolutely gorgeous. Your eyes are the biggest I've ever seen and they are oh so sweet. That smile of yours with your cute little gap between your front two teeth are simply adorable. Your silly giggle whenever we tickle you or chase you around the house could make anyone smile. 
It's been such a joy watching you grow and change so much even with your short time here. Being able to watch you learn to walk, and run for that matter, and learn new words almost every day are memories I wouldn't trade for the world! 
I'm going to miss everything about you pretty girl. I'm even going to miss those early morning I wake up with you and we just cuddle. I'm going to miss you waddling up to the door whenever I walk into the house, immediately lifting up your arms asking to be picked up. I'm going to miss those silly dance moves of yours. I'm going to miss watching you grow.
I will always cherish the time I got to spend with you and your sister. I know everything is in God's hands now, but I will always continue to pray for your heart. I pray you will grow up knowing the Lord and how much He loves you. I pray God will use you and your life in a wonderful way. I pray you will shout His good name at the top of your lungs. And I pray you will always know how much you mean to us. 
Love,
ALWAYS your aunt,
Aunt Mer Mer

God has a great plan. Even though it might not of been our plan, God works in amazing ways. This week is going to be very hard, but our lives will move on. It may not ever be the same again without the girls, but life moves on. 

Thank you so much to all who have prayed for and supported Christina, Dan and their family. I know it is very much appreciated. Please keep them in your prayers this week and for weeks to come. 

Yikes!

Well hello again!

It's been almost a week since I've posted! I haven't even had this things for a month and I'm already slacking! Oh but it has been a crazy week!

This weekend was a little bit more calm. I babysat for my sister and her husband on Friday night as they had date night! Saturday, we took the boys to a Play 60 park. For those of you who don't know, Play 60 parks are NFL parks designed for kids. Since we're in Charlotte, of course everything is Panthers themed! Well the boys loved it!!! Even though I could have sworn my hands were gonna fall off they were so cold, it had no effect on the kids, shocking. Saturday night, Christina and I went out with a friend. We went to the Dandelion Market in Uptown. OH MY GOODNESS, I highly recommend this place. We got there around 8:30 on a Saturday night and was seated within 15 minutes. We each picked something off the menu and ordered it one by one. The service was SO fast and everything we tried was delicious. If you are looking for a place to sit down for a while and just talk, you have to try it. After dinner, we went to a dessert bar called, Amelies. Even though the line wrapped around the side of the building, it was very very fast service. After eating only a few bites, we were full so we took it to go and headed home. Sunday was a normal day, other than the fact that I stayed home with the kiddos cause one was sick. 

This week, man, Monday seems like lightyears ago. Business at my internship picked up a lot and I actually had a lot of things to do. Tuesday was the one day of the year that Charlotte got snow! It started snowing around 4pm so I left work early and headed to Christina and Dan's. By the time I was ready to go to bed, we probably had close to two inches already, which is a HUGE deal in the south. Thankfully, I was house sitting for a lady in their neighborhood so I was able to just walk home. When I got up, the roads were covered! I texted my boss and declared I was having a snow day. Okay, so it didn't go quite like that. More along the lines of telling him I was too scared to drive in the snow and he said it was okay to stay home. I hiked back over to Christina and Dan's and not to my surprise, the boys were already playing in the back yard. I don't function well in the cold so I plopped myself down on the couch and didn't move most of the day. After lunch, I knew something was wrong. My body was aching and I had no desire to even smell food, which is very rare for me. I took some medicine and tried to suck it up. I went back to the house I was house sitting for fairly early in hopes that a good night sleep would fix everything. Boy was I wrong, I woke up about every hour with shooting pains going up my back and nausea. I did everything I could think of to fix it, but nothing was working. What felt like just a few seconds more of sleep, my alarm clock went off. I stuffed some more medicine in me and some how made it to work. Thankfully, today has been fairly busy so my mind has not been on the pain. I can only hope the next few hours fly by!

On a happier note, this weekend will be the first weekend that my boyfriend is coming to visit me in Charlotte! Woohoo! I was suppose to go down to Clemson, but with as much pain that I'm in, I couldn't fathom driving for that long. I'm just praying that the pain will go away just long enough so that I can have a good weekend with Matt.

I know this blog is rather boring and most people aren't gonna want to read about my week, but that's okay! After all, this blog is for me, not you! :) 

TGIF?

TGIF... "Thank God It's Friday." A phrase that we have heard for so long now, even though I don't know many people that still use it actually weekly. Heck, it's even a restaurant! But even though I am thank that it is Friday and I get to have a relaxing weekend with family and friends, I am much more thankful for some other things going on right now! 

First off, I am SO thankful for warm clothes and a warm place to lay my head at night because it has been bitterly cold lately! And I am also thankful for Spring just around the corner. 

I am thankful for my sister, Christina, and her husband, Dan, for EVERYTHING that they do for me. Just last night they brought me a dozen Krispy Kreme doughnuts!! That's true love haha. Then proceeded to try and help me fix my brakes on my car and when it didn't work, let me borrow Dan's car and promised to help me take it to a mechanic on Saturday. They also feed me dinner every night and pack me a lunch every day! I have not had to go grocery shopping at all since I've been here!  Dan insists that Christina and I have a girls' night once a week so that we can have sister time, which has brought Christina and I closer together and for that, I am forever grateful. They are amazing examples to me! They are fantastic parents, not only to their boys, but also to their sweet foster girls! They have shown me what a great Christian relationship looks like and lead by example daily. 

I am thankful for my dad who I can call at any hour of the day if my car is acting up and he is right there with advice to help. He has dropped what he was doing many times for me and drove to Clemson just to help me out. He doesn't even get mad when I call him about stupid things, like when I couldn't get my key out of my ignition only to find out my car wasn't in park! Don't worry, I laughed at myself for this one too! 

I am thankful for my mom who has taught me to stand up for what I believe no matter what. She made a decision to stand firm in her faith last year that ended up costing her her job. God did not fail her, He provided her with an amazing new job, at an amazing new school! Though it put her through a few very hard months, she stayed strong and was an amazing example of how God works through every situation. I am truly proud to call her my mother! 

I am thankful for being able to be so close to my family. Not even in distance (most of us at least), but also in relationships. I can truly say that all my siblings and their spouses are not only family, but also friends. I am thankful that I would never hesitate to call any one of them to ask for advice, help, or simply talk. Though we fight, it seems like we're fighting to the death sometimes, I know we always love each other and want the best for each other. 

I am thankful for a boyfriend who deals with all my crap. No, really! Matt is so patient with me, even with the silliest of situations! Not only does he listen when I rant about stupid things, he makes me feel better! We have the best time together! We can sit on the couch for hours watching movies or go on adventures, either way we are just happy to be next to each other. I'm thankful for being with someone that makes my life easier, not the other way around! 

I am thankful for the family that is letting me stay with them while I am in Charlotte. They have opened up their home to me, rent free, which is a HUGE blessing on a college student. Not to mention, they are incredibly sweet and an amazing Christian family! 

I am thankful for a best friend that I can talk to no matter how far away she is. Most of you know that my best friend, Sarah, is currently studying abroad in London. We still talk every single day and she still knows about almost everything going on in my life! Thank goodness for technology! When she isn't in London, she's still about 1000 miles away in Dallas. Being able to talk to her, no matter the distance, has definitely kept me sane, at least for the most part. ;)

I am thankful for this amazing opportunity to get work experience in my field! A paid internship to a Sophomore that I am also receiving school credit for?!? It doesn't get much better than this. Not to mention, everyone is so sweet and helpful!

I am thankful for an amazing, forgiving Savior. A God that knows my sins and still loves me just the same. Even though I am consistently screwing up, He never leaves me or forsakes me. 

I am thankful for being able to live in His beautiful creation. Though there is so much evil in this world, there is not one day that goes by that I don't look outside and am truly amazing of how wondrous His masterpiece is. 

There is so much to be thankful for! Don't let a day go by that you don't remember the blessings that have been given to you by Him. 

Communication is key....

What I don't understand is why us girls think that everyone knows what we are thinking all the time?!? Guys, y'all are not getting off the hook, but as a girl, I just can talk from experience. For some reason, girls think that guys know what they are thinking and know what we want all the time without telling them. Well NEWSFLASH: THEY DON'T!

Trust me, I am way guilty of this as well, just ask my boyfriend. But we fester up this idea in our head and we know exactly what we want and we somehow think that since we know, and maybe we even drop a few hints, that the guys in our lives should know as well. They don't! We have to flat out tell them! I mean, some guys are pretty good at decoding our hints, maybe if they grew up with a ton of sisters or something, but the majority of the male population needs to be spoon fed when it comes to this.

My sister and I were talking earlier this week about one of her friends who was mad at her boyfriend for going out when she told him that it was alright.... WHAT? She was upset because her boyfriend couldn't read her mind and see that she wanted a night out with her girls. "Well why didn't you just say that?" "I'm sure he would have gladly given you a night out, if you would have just told him?"It seems like this situation would be so easy to fix, but yet we continue to do it. Over. And over. And over again! It has got to stop!

Confession time. Last night, My boyfriend and I were talking on the phone on my way home and I was complaining about how much driving I've had to do over the last month and about how I feel like I just live in my car now. Now I know you're thinking; "Meredith? Complaining? No way!" But yes I was complaining. And my boyfriend led with his usual answers of "Suck it up" or "You're getting paid, you're not allowed to complain." Well this just pissed me off. I went silent and starting only giving him one worded answers. Obviously, he noticed and asked why I was in just a bad mood all of the sudden. I, OF COURSE, didn't give him a straight answer and said I was fine, even when he said he didn't believe. I expected him to know what was wrong with me and how he should fix it. So finally, I snapped and yelled something along the lines of, "It wouldn't kill you to be sweet every now and then!" Well this was alarming to him and he finally drew it out of me. I explained that when I was complaining about things such as driving, I was really fishing for encouragement. I needed him to feel sympathy for me and tell me that he was sorry I had to do that and that it would be alright. He, of course, explained that all I had to do was tell him this and he would have changed. He's an only child and went to an all boys high school. Why in the world did I expect him to be able to read my (a girl's!) mind and know exactly what I needed. My poor boyfriend WAS trying to help! He was doing what he would have told himself to make him feel better about the situation, he figured it would work with me as well. Man oh man was I guilty of doing exactly what every other girl in this world has at least done once!

Girls, it's okay to be needy with your man. Truth is, even though lots of them won't admit it, a lot of guys love being needed by their girls. What is not okay is being needy and silent. You have to tell your man what you want or he will never know. Over time, he will start to learn your patterns and might surprise you on how much he knows about you, but always be willing to talk to him.

Guys, please be more observant. Even though it may not be in your nature, try to pick up on these little hints that your girl is dropping you. I promise you, it would mean the world to your girl if you surprised her like that. And be willing to learn. Learn how your lady like to be treated and treat her that way. You have to remember that even though your girl may like to hang out with your friends, she is not "one of the guys."

So Matthew, if you're reading this. I'm sorry for not communicating. I am as guilty as ever of this and I promise to work harder on it. Just as long as you promise not to tell me to "Suck it up" anymore. ;) I love you!

Just What I Needed

Sometimes we all need a little encouragement. After all, we are all human and we all have feelings.

I was so looking forward to this weekend. My first weekend back in Clemson since mid-December. I would get to see my boyfriend and most of my friends. I was excited for life to seem somewhat normal, even if it was just for a weekend. But it didn't end up quite like that. It ended up being a pretty crappy friend weekend. A weekend where I spent almost the whole ride home crying because that wasn't how it was suppose to go. I was so mad at them and so upset that I felt like I had nobody to talk to about it because nobody truly knew how I felt. And that's when my phone started ringing.

My sister, Caroline, was calling. She lives in Kansas with her husband and adorable 1 year old daughter and we don't get to talk that much. I let it ring out the first time because I didn't want her to know that I was crying. After a few minutes, I cleared my thought and called her back. I didn't tell her what happened that weekend and she didn't ask why my voice sounded so weak. We just talked like sisters. She put her daughter on the phone so I could hear her gibber jabbering and I asked how her husband's time off was. We talked about her friend problems and even though it made me sad that even as grown adult, we still have friend drama, it made me realize that it's just a part of life. The ones that truly matter will be there for you. We talked for about an hour and even without realizing it, she made me feel a million times better. 

By the time I hung up the phone, I was back in Charlotte at my other sister's, Christina, house. I was greeted at the door by screaming nephews saying "AUNT MER MER!" That is a feeling that not many things can top. After a few minutes, my mom (who was in town for the weekend) asked me how Clemson was. I hesitated trying to answer and tried to leave it at a simple "It was okay." My sister knew something had gone wrong right away and asked what had happened. I gave a quick synopsis of the weekend and they offered up a few encouraging words. 

Later that night, Christina and I head to life group, a church bible study. In the car she asked for a little bit more details of the weekend and really gave me insight of college. She assured me that the people in life who truly love you will stick with you. 

At life group, I was overwhelmed with happiness. I was surround by people who were all at least five years older than me and most were married and had kids. Our differences didn't stop them from truly encouraging me. People who I barely knew, only met a couple of times, wanted to know how life was going for me and how my internship was. They talked to me like I had been friends with them for a long time and included me any way possible. I was genuinely laughing for the first time all weekend. How could people I barely knew make me feel this way when my own "best friends" made me feel quite the opposite.

I realized that putting my happiness in other people's hands will never end well. My happiness can only come from Him above. I had put so much pressure on this weekend in Clemson and on my friends to be the absolute best when God wanted me to realize that only He can provide true happiness. I have been so focused on how I can make myself happy lately, that I have forgotten to look above me, to the only One that can bring me pure joy. 

I am so thankful for my family who is always there to encourage me and even ask me the hard questions that I sometimes don't want to answer. A little encouragement can go a long way. I challenge everyone today to look around them and find at least one person to encourage today. You don't always know what people are going through, people can hide things very well, but maybe your encouraging words will send them back to prayer or make them raise their heads to the Lord. A simple "I love you" or even "You look great day" can cause a great effect. 

So those of you who are still reading:

You're an amazing mom!

You're a fantastic husband!

You are beautiful, inside and out.

You mean the world to someone!

People love you just the way you are, even if you don't realize it.

Lucky Me

Let me start off by saying that my family is big, no, HUGE! There's my mom and dad (2), my siblings and I (6), their husbands and wives (4) and their kids (7). So that brings us to a grand total of, yes, 19. I truly believe that a big family like this isn't for everyone. There's always something going on, people are always screaming, someone's more than likely upset about something and it's normally so loud that you can't even hear yourself think! My boyfriend once told me that it was not relaxing spending the holidays at my house because he consistently felt like he needed a nap. HAHA I just must be used to it by now. 

Even though my family can be crazy and overwhelming at times, I wouldn't trade it for anything! And throughout this crazy mess, I, somehow, lucked out to be the luckiest rank in the family! Let me explain:

I was the youngest growing up. The baby of all six kids! When I was growing up I was so lucky that I got to spend all my time with my older siblings, which I absolutely loved. I'm not going speak for them because I'm sure having their quite sassy little sister following them around like an echo was a blast!!! I had the chance to learn things a younger age. I was always playing sports and games with my brothers and my sisters were teaching me the words to the latest new song. Not to mention, I learned all the dirty words earlier too.... just kidding Mom :) My siblings were always there for me, whether it was beating me up themselves, or protect me. My brother will also argue that I received things at a younger age (like a cell phone) and to that I won't argue. ;) Everyone likes to call me the spoiled one.

Being the baby of the family ended up truly being the best for me. My oldest sister is 11 years older than me. So growing up, she was a lot like another mom to me. When my mom was overwhelmed with all of our different schedules and routines, Christina was there to change my diaper, play with me, driving me around, or simply for advice. When I got older, I was able to meet my sister in a whole new light. She was actually my sister and my friend!! We were able to hang out, laugh and actually get to know the real people that we had lived with for so long. 

I also have a brother that is very close in age to me. Eric is 18 months older than me, almost exactly. Growing up with him, I had a best friend at all times. I like to tell people the funny story of why my parents had me. They thought they were done having kids after the fourth one (Nick was too much for them to handle ;) ) but the ever so lovely surprise of Eric ended up being quite a joy. After giving birth, my dad asked my mom who Eric was going to play with... so here I am, as Eric's playmate. And it ended up quite like that. We were inseparable as kids, we did everything together. We even shared a room for a while. I like to blame him for why I was such a tom-boy growing up and I am sure he will gladly take responsibility. I was lucky enough not only to have a great brother, but a best friend. 

So here's where a lot of people think, "So you had great OLDER siblings, but you missed out on having babies around the house while you were growing up." And this is exactly where they are wrong. I was an aunt by the time I hit high school. I would even argue that being an aunt was better than being an older sibling. I got everything they did, except for the bad parts. I got to hold, feed and play with these little bundles of joy and we never argued. I truly had the best of both worlds (not to quote Hannah Montana). I'm able to be a friend and even an example for my little ones (scary I know). I get to watch these little ones go from cute little babies to grow up to be (hopefully) amazing men and women. And on the little more selfish side, I didn't have to deal sleepless nights and lovely potty training (not yet at least). And I get to teach them things that their parents might hate me for ;) but don't worry, I'm sure the favor will be returned when I have kids. 

As for my "in-laws," I think I hit the jackpot on this one. Most people would be upset that they might be the last in their family to get married, but I view it very differently. Plus, my sister is 11 years older than me and got married when I was in middle school, I didn't stand a chance at getting married first. But seriously, I got to watch my siblings fall in love with their other half, I got to watch them say their vows, and start a family. What I believe to be the best part though is that I get to be picky now. My sister's biggest thing she has told me after she got married, was to never settle. I have watched time and time again what amazing spouses my in laws are and I get to be picky, now that I know what it truly looks like, when I find who I'm going to marry.  

This is not to say that my siblings don't have amazing lives, because I'm sure they will argue that theirs is better. In my opinion, I would no longer say I'm lucky, I would say I am extremely blessed.

P.S. I promise Swiger's aren't this competitive! ;)

It's Okay!

I wrote this a while back because I had a few things on my mind. I sent it to a friend cause I figured someone should read it. But why not more people? Maybe y'all need to hear it too! 

So many people these days are so unsatisfied with how their lives are simply because they aren't doing what society expects them to do or it's not coming out how they thought it should. What I've come to realize is that everyone is different, they have different goals, grow up differently, and end up differently, so why do we think it's okay to determine what other people should do with their lives. I had a roommate once who told me that her sister was so upset that she joined a sorority simply because her sister didn't see her doing that when she was planning out her life. I could not believe this! I thought, "Why in the world would her sister care what she did?!?" It's all about expectations. 

One situation that totally drives me insane is everyone's crazy expectations of college. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE college! I love almost everything about it! But what I don't understand is how people go through life saying that they will be the best four years (give or take a few depending on your motivation ;) ) of your life. For me, so far, yes they have been the best years! I have made some friends that I believe will be friends for a life time, I have had experience that I would never had if I hadn't gone to Clemson, I met my amazing and sweet boyfriend who has completely changed my view on how relationships work, BUT I have had awful times as well. I have had horrific roommate experiences, friends betray me, drama like you won't believe, and those mornings when I wake up wondering if I made the right decision. But when people refer to college as the "glory days" I can't help but think "Is this it?" Sure it's fun for now, but I (hopefully) have my whole life to look forward to. I don't want the best days of my life to be frat parties and all nighters. I look forward to the days ahead of me. I enjoy college now, and I will probably cry when it's over, but I want more for my life and it's okay!

For those of you would don't know, I am a daughter of the amazing Lord and Savior. I believe that He has an amazing plan for my life and has known exactly who I am, and who I will be before I was even born. Even though I am close with the Lord, I am not going to sit here and lie to you saying that it has always been this way. There were days that I thought I was strong and that I was doing everything that I was suppose to, when I was simply just doing a check list. Wake up and do my devotions? Check! Pray before every meal? Check! Give a daily encouraging bible verse to a friend? Check! Don't cuss all day? Check! Pray before I go to bed? Check! WOW I was such a great Christian! Boy was I mistaken about what it truly meant to be that word that I used so freely! There were days when I didn't know what it meant to have a relationship with God, and it's okay!

Now there were other times when I simply did not want to anything to do with this so called Savior! He was in my way of having a grand ole time! Sure I still claimed to be a christian, I would even go to church and youth group, but my heart was definitely not in it. I hung out with friends who led me down paths that only drew me further from Him. I said things and acted ways that I would be embarrassed if people knew about now. I did not represent Christ well and I was definitely not walking with the Lord. Even though I had my days/months that I strayed from God, I was still His daughter and He still loved me when I came crawling back to Him, shameful as ever! I went down a dark path but came back to Him, and it's okay! 

Something that I had struggled with my whole life is who I am. In high school, I was who ever my friends wanted me to be. I changed so much that not even I knew who I really was and this was simply to get the approval of those around me. When I met my best friend in college, all of that changed. Sarah's a different kind of girl, in the best way! She is who she is and if you don't enjoy it, well your loss! She has helped me find out who I am over the past year and taught me that it's okay to be who I am, even if it's different than the people around me. People will surprise you, they want to get to know the real you and if you are yourself, the people that are meant to be around you will love you for it! Sarah has taught me to be myself in every situation and it's okay!

One thing that I really have struggled with the past few months is that everyone's path in life is not the same as yours. Halfway through the semester, Sarah sat me down and told me that she was studying abroad in the spring in London and that she would be leaving me in December. This was not an easy thing to hear! I had just gone a whole summer without seeing my best friend and now it would be even longer till I saw her again! But I made that decision to do an Internship the same time she was going to London to make that pain ease a little. This was not the worst of it. A few weeks later, Sarah sat me down again and told me, with tears in her eyes, that she would not be returning to Clemson the next fall. She was transferring. My heart was SHATTERED! I didn't know what to do! My best friend, the girl who made me who I am today, my rock, my roommate was leaving. Not just for a semester, not just for a summer, but for good. WOW. After a tearful night, and a few more, Sarah got to tell me why she had made this decision. She had been thinking of doing this for over a year, but originally decided against it after meeting me. Even though she said I was the reason she stayed at Clemson for as long as she did, I couldn't help but feel like it was all my fault. I hadn't done everything in my ability to make her happy enough to stay. It took me quite some time to realize that I couldn't have done anything. Clemson wasn't for her. Which I had a hard time believing since I am so in love with my school, but it was true. I am so thankful that our paths crossed for the time that it did because it is a friendship that I will cherish for the rest of my life. Sarah's path is different than mine, and it's okay!

Everyone is different. It's okay!
Life can be one hectic roller coaster. It can throw you curve balls and send you spinning in a different direction. It's okay!
People handle situations differently. It's okay!
People will want different things in life. It's okay!
God only knows what's in store for our future. But after all, it's okay! 

New Years Resolution

I've never been one to do new years resolutions. Simply because most the time I know I won't fulfill them. Like working out, maybe I'll go jogging through the neighborhood once or time, or even go lifts some weights at the gym, but nothing consistent or that actually is going to help me. Another reason they are not my forte, I find it absolutely ridiculous that this one day out of 365 days in the year can cause people to alter their lives dramatically. Now don't get me wrong, it is so great that people want to get healthy, or spend more time with family, or whatever crazy commitment they decide. But what I don't understand is that it has to be on this day. Why can't we do this onAugust 5th? (I only say this because it's my birthday haha) I've been told that it takes about 7 weeks to form a habit, which would mean that people would have to stick out their resolution until at least the end of February to have any hope at all. And by this time most people's change is long gone. The other half of this saying is that it only takes 7 days to break a habit. Which means that that if you happen to succeed in lasting the two months of forming this resolution, and you go on vacation for a week, it could all be blown to shreds. How encouraging is that?!

Sorry for being such a Debbie Downer about this and this is about to sound extremely hypocritical, but this year, against all odds, I've decided to give it a shot. 

I want to start writing more. My dad is an incredible writer and my sister even used to have a blog. I've just started an internship at an amazing company for the semester and right now there is a lot of down time. With this time on my hands, I've been reading a lot of blogs! They are mostly of friends and family's that just wanna keep up with how their kids are doing and what new exciting adventure they're going on. And then I've stumbled on my really inspiring ones that were written by complete strangers. 

My sister and her husband are currently fostering two of the cutest and sweetest little girls and my sister posted a link on her Facebook to a blog entitled "The Sovereignty of God in Foster Care." I read this blog and it nearly brought me to tears. It talked all about how hard it was to foster sweet children knowing that they might not be in your care for much longer. It explained how even though, in their minds, they were the best home for the kids, God can work in the worst situation and we never know what he can do. Ultimately, foster parents are not the children's only hope. This was perfect for my sister. The sweet girls we have loved from the moment we met them might not be with them for much longer, even though we pray they will stay with us forever, it is not our decision. Anyways, reading this blog brought comfort to my sister. The girls' mother was not a believer and she always was worrying that the girls would never truly know Christ if they went back to their mother. This blog post reminded all of us that God has a plan for those adorable girls, whether it was with my family or not. 

I'm not by any means saying that my blog is going to help anyone come to great realizations like this, or that anyone's gonna read these at all. I'm not even saying that this will last longer than a month! But for now, this is helping me get down all my thoughts. (And waste some time at work) Maybe this will help me to remember these days in years to come when this blog is long dead and I happen to pull it back up. All I know is that I want to get all of this down somehow so that I can remember everything, take my own advice, keep up with friends and family, or maybe even brighten one person's day. 

So let's see how this goes.