True Friendship

So this has been weighing down me heart lately. And by that, I mean like dragging, so heavy I can barely lift it, you get the point. Everyone (including myself) is so worried about having the most friends, the most people like them, the most Instagram likes, etc. that we forget what being a true friend means.

I wish I could go back to my sixth grade, weirdo self and convince me that it's not the quantity of friends you have, but the quality of those friends. I spent some many years chasing after popularity that I ended up ditching the friends that truly cared about me. After leaving high school, I made a promise to myself that I wouldn't let that be the case in college and well, I failed. I wish I could say that I would never do again, but that, too, is probably a lie. It, more than likely, will be a life struggle, but here I go. I'm going to try to not only be a better friend, but understand what friendships I truly need in my life.

A friend who I talk to every single day even though they are halfway across the world, a friend that truly cares about my well being, a friend who would do almost anything to make sure I'm happy, but also a friend that is there to be honest and ask the hard questions, THAT is a friend that I need. A friend who lives minutes away but I only hear from when they need something, a friend who my feelings are the last thing on their mind, a friend who treats me like something that is easily replaced, THAT is a friend that I don't need. I need to detox all my friendships and find the ones that I truly need in my life. 

But as I need to do that, I also need to try and be a better friend to those people. I need to be attentive to their lives and what they are going through. I need to start thinking of them before I think of myself. I need to start making more of an effort to keep that friendship up rather than letting them do all that work. 

A friendship is a two way road, both ends have to put in effort. It's not about who has known who the longest, but about who is always there, even in the bad times. It's not about how much you talk to each other, but how nothing has changed between the two of you when you do. You need friends in your life, you don't need a million different friendships that will just be there for you when it's convenient. Don't be the convenient friend to someone, be there for them just like you would want them to be there for you.

Okay, rant over.