Trust me, I am way guilty of this as well, just ask my boyfriend. But we fester up this idea in our head and we know exactly what we want and we somehow think that since we know, and maybe we even drop a few hints, that the guys in our lives should know as well. They don't! We have to flat out tell them! I mean, some guys are pretty good at decoding our hints, maybe if they grew up with a ton of sisters or something, but the majority of the male population needs to be spoon fed when it comes to this.
My sister and I were talking earlier this week about one of her friends who was mad at her boyfriend for going out when she told him that it was alright.... WHAT? She was upset because her boyfriend couldn't read her mind and see that she wanted a night out with her girls. "Well why didn't you just say that?" "I'm sure he would have gladly given you a night out, if you would have just told him?"It seems like this situation would be so easy to fix, but yet we continue to do it. Over. And over. And over again! It has got to stop!
Confession time. Last night, My boyfriend and I were talking on the phone on my way home and I was complaining about how much driving I've had to do over the last month and about how I feel like I just live in my car now. Now I know you're thinking; "Meredith? Complaining? No way!" But yes I was complaining. And my boyfriend led with his usual answers of "Suck it up" or "You're getting paid, you're not allowed to complain." Well this just pissed me off. I went silent and starting only giving him one worded answers. Obviously, he noticed and asked why I was in just a bad mood all of the sudden. I, OF COURSE, didn't give him a straight answer and said I was fine, even when he said he didn't believe. I expected him to know what was wrong with me and how he should fix it. So finally, I snapped and yelled something along the lines of, "It wouldn't kill you to be sweet every now and then!" Well this was alarming to him and he finally drew it out of me. I explained that when I was complaining about things such as driving, I was really fishing for encouragement. I needed him to feel sympathy for me and tell me that he was sorry I had to do that and that it would be alright. He, of course, explained that all I had to do was tell him this and he would have changed. He's an only child and went to an all boys high school. Why in the world did I expect him to be able to read my (a girl's!) mind and know exactly what I needed. My poor boyfriend WAS trying to help! He was doing what he would have told himself to make him feel better about the situation, he figured it would work with me as well. Man oh man was I guilty of doing exactly what every other girl in this world has at least done once!
Girls, it's okay to be needy with your man. Truth is, even though lots of them won't admit it, a lot of guys love being needed by their girls. What is not okay is being needy and silent. You have to tell your man what you want or he will never know. Over time, he will start to learn your patterns and might surprise you on how much he knows about you, but always be willing to talk to him.
Guys, please be more observant. Even though it may not be in your nature, try to pick up on these little hints that your girl is dropping you. I promise you, it would mean the world to your girl if you surprised her like that. And be willing to learn. Learn how your lady like to be treated and treat her that way. You have to remember that even though your girl may like to hang out with your friends, she is not "one of the guys."
So Matthew, if you're reading this. I'm sorry for not communicating. I am as guilty as ever of this and I promise to work harder on it. Just as long as you promise not to tell me to "Suck it up" anymore. ;) I love you!
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