If you know me at all, you know that I hate waiting. Especially for something that I really, really want. Just ask anyone who has gotten me a birthday present and told me they got it before they would give it to me.....**cough cough SARAH cough cough** I can't handle it. I just can't. It's cruel and unusual torture to me. I hate waiting for the next step in life. I hate waiting for my next meal for that matter... I hate waiting for the summer. I hate waiting to get a new car. I hate waiting for friendships to be rebuilt. I. Hate. Waiting.
With that being said, God has a funny (kinda... not really comical to me...) way of making me learn to wait. When I was young, I was taught that God gave us one of three answers; "yes," "no," or "not now." The "yes" is the easy one, you get what you want. The "no" is harder, cause God knows you what's best for you, but you still don't get what you want. The "not now" is awful to me. It's not yes and it's not no. I would rather just be told "no" right away. Well lately it seems that the only answer I have been getting is the "not now." As you could imagine, that's hard for me.
My life is in some kind of transition phase. I'm technically still in college, but currently I'm working in the real world. But it's only temporary... It's hard for me to explain to other people and honestly hard for me to truly understand myself. Regardless of what this stage of my life is considered, it's a waiting period. I'm waiting to go back to school. I'm waiting for my career to start. I'm waiting for life to be normal (I don't even know what that means anymore). What God is slowly, and I mean SLOWLY, teaching me, is to enjoy it. He's showing me that waiting doesn't have to be awful. I can enjoy where I am right now. And I have a lot to enjoy to be honest!
I love where I'm living! Charlotte is a great city, but who I'm living with truly makes it the best. I love being able to live with my sister and her family. I enjoy getting to spend all that time with my nephews. Not even mentioning all the home cooked meals and rent-free.
I have this crazy opportunity that most college kids couldn't even dream of! I'm getting a paid to learn more about my field. I get school credit. This internship is such a resume booster for me. PLUS I get to wear jeans and a t shirt to work all the time!
I don't have to worry about school work at the moment. (Besides a journal entry ever week that I honestly just make up as I go... shhh don't tell my teachers) I don't have any tests. No homework. I don't have to worry about getting good grades. As long as I don't get fired and I turn in my journal, I get an A. AND that means I will technically get all A's for the semester and a 4.0. Which will get me on the President's List. SO I have another resume booster there.
I am refreshing friendships... I chose my words wisely here because it's an unique situation. It's not that we were ever not friends. Or that we ever hated each other. We all had some moments (some longer than others) of anger, frustration, and even betrayal. And some major blowouts. BUT we are refreshing. We are making honest efforts to make our relationships what they used to be. It's not going to be exactly how it used to be right away, and we don't know if it ever will... but for now, we are refreshing.
My life is good. No matter how many times I am convinced that it's not, it is. I have an amazing family who would support me in my dumbest moments. I have friends that are willing to work with me, even when I seem impossible. I have a boyfriend who loves me unconditionally, but isn't afraid to tell me when I'm being a drama queen. I have a job that is teaching me more than I ever thought it would. I love my major more than most college students. (I'm a little biased that it's the best major out there) And I am learning to trust God when He tells me "not now."
P.S. If you ever hear me say that my life sucks, feel free to hit me.
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